


I Wish That I Could Be Like The Cool Kids

by misslmf



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Characters (17/18 years old), Aged-Up Losers Club (IT), Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Angst, Bill Denbrough Being an Idiot, Eddie Kaspbrak & Beverly Marsh Are Best Friends, Fluff, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, I don't have a plan for this yet, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Oops, Period-Typical Homophobia, Reddie, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris Are Best Friends, bit of a dick sorry bill stans, that stuff all seems bad but there's fluff too, the best tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:55:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24390172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misslmf/pseuds/misslmf
Summary: Richie Tozier was happy. The best friend in the world, amazing grades and constant abuse thrown at him in the halls every day.And Eddie Kaspbrak was happy too. Star of the track team, popular boy at school, and trying to hide a part of himself from everyone he knew.Yeah. They were both really happy.----or in which Richie has had a crush on Eddie for years and in their senior year they get paired up for a biology assignment and various shenanigans ensue.ON HIATUS
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 54





	1. prologue

Richie Tozier, was happy.

He got the best grades in all of his classes (and got teased about it endlessly by the rest of the student body)

He had the best friend he could ever ask for, Stanley Uris (even if sometimes he longed for just one more friend)

He had a beautiful house (that inside was inhabited by parents that didn't notice him)

He was healthy (apart from sneaking away to fill his lungs with smoke when he felt like it)

And, just like everyone else in the beautiful town of Derry, he was a perfectly normal, heterosexual boy (except for the small problem that he definitely wasn't)

So yeah. Richie Tozier was _happy_.

Eddie Kaspbrak was also, _very_ happy.

He was the school's star of the track team (which meant permanent exhaustion after school every day)

He was one of the most popular boys in the school (which was code for a lot of people hating him)

He also had a beautiful house (that inside housed his mother and well... Eddie didn't like to talk much about his home life which was okay because no one _really_ cared)

He was definitely healthy (taking pills almost every hour, scrubbing his hands until they were red raw with antibacterial gel)

And his girlfriend was the most beautiful girl in the school, who he loved so much (except for the times he stared up at his ceilings at night, trying believe the lies in his mind)

Yes. Eddie Kaspbrak was practically the happiest person in Derry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright so here's the deal  
> i tried a multi chapter thing on wattpad and it actually took me two years to complete (MissLMF on wattpad sneaky selfpromo lol) so i don't know how well this is going to go  
> but i will try my hardest to actually get this done in a reasonable amount of time  
> i hope this prologue was intriguing because i know the summary sure as heck wasn't sorry, i'm not good at those ha  
> thanks for reading :))


	2. one

Richie sat in the back corner of the cafeteria, pushing his food around with his fork like he did every day at lunch, because anyone who ate the food that came out of Derry High had some kind of death wish. But he had nothing better to do other than play with it and listen to Stan talk about birds endlessly so he never threw it away until the end of lunch. It was the only reason he bought it. That and to see the annoyance on his dad's face after he sees how much he has to pay for lunch money. Stan had given him the _'Oh but Richie's that's such a waste of food'_ talk about a thousand times over their four years of being at school and he'd given up by the second. Besides, it wasn't like the school didn't waste a shit-ton of food already so what's one more plate Richie always argued.

As Stan said something about swallows and their nesting patterns, Richie peered over his shoulder to look at 'popular kids' table. Basically where all the sports stars and pretty girls sat. He watched one person in particular - a small but lithe and lightly muscled guy in a letterman jacket - sit down with his lunch and grimaced as the guy's redhead girlfriend leaned over and kissed him on the cheek with a grin.

Eddie Kaspbrak. Star of the school's track team every year since the first time he'd run for the coach in freshman year and darling of every teacher, even though his grades aren't even that good. He barely looks in the direction of people like Richie and Stan, and if by chance he does, it's probably to laugh along at them with his stupid friends.

And unfortunately, Richie had practically been in love with him since sophomore year. Now at the beginning of their senior year, Richie was hoping that he would finally get over it and find someone that would actually like him back. Or at least a girl so he could lay low. But no. The butterflies in his stomach, persistent as ever, still went crazy every time he saw Eddie.

Stan noticed he was staring in the direction of the 'popular kids' table and he sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Were you even listening to a word I said? I'm pretty sure I made a revolutionary discovery yesterday Richie!" Stan waved a hand in front of Richie's face. "But you can't stop gawking over that stupid jock's face."

"Oh you can talk." Richie scoffed. "You used to have a crush on Bill Denbrough and Mike Hanlon _at the same time_!" The two were some of the best football players at the school and also Eddie's best friends.

"Okay, fine, but I'm over it now." Stan said quickly, turning red. "Oh and also, fuck you." Richie couldn't help but smile a little at their back and forth and punched his shoulder.

"I hate you man." He said. Stan rolled his eyes again.

"Hate you too." Stan smiled sweetly.

It was then that the bell that signalled the end of lunch rang, and Richie got up throw away his uneaten food. As Richie slung his backpack over his shoulder and went to walk down the halls to his next class, he felt Stan grip his elbow tightly and stop him from walking away. He looked back and raised an eyebrow at his friends, who had a sad smile on his face.

"This is our last year of high school Rich. Next year, you're gonna be at some fancy intelligent person school, and he's gonna be at some dumb person sports school. And when you're far away from him. you're going to find someone amazing, because you deserve someone ten times better than that idiot, okay?" Stan said, just loud enough to be heard over the throng of students rushing around them. Richie smiled softly and nodded.

"Thanks Stan. I gotta get to biology though. I'll meet you in the library after though, right?" Richie waved after him as he was pulled away by the crowd of students that seemed to just get bigger. Stan laughed as he watched Richie try to shout at him one more time. "Parting is such sweet sorrow Staniel!"

"Get to class dumbass!"

Richie finally turned away from Stan and in the direction of his biology classroom. Along the way people pushed him, shouted names at him and tried to take his stuff but he was used to it. He'd had to deal with it for four years and now that he was in his last year, he couldn't be bothered to be bothered about it anymore. So he held his head high and carried on walking down the hall, albeit still as fast as he could. And sure, as soon as he got to his classroom he did still run to sit right in the back corner. But he wasn't bothered by it anymore. He swore that to himself even as he turned bright red and looked down at his feet the moment he saw Eddie and his friends, Bill and Mike, enter the room.

God, he didn't know that _Eddie_ was going to be in his biology this year.

"Fuck." He whispered under his breath, quickly getting his pen and notebook out of his bag, trying not to draw any attention to himself. His only hope was to just get through these lessons quietly taking notes and passing his exams without having to interact with anyone. That would truly be wonderful.

Then his teacher walked in the room and fucked that dream right up.

"Hello class." Mr Candor said as he rushed into the room slamming the door behind him. At the loud noise everyone in the class that was talking suddenly stopped and the room was quiet. The teacher nodded a little a turned to the board writing on it straight away.

Richie wrote the date in the margin of his paper and absentmidedly copied what the teacher had written without even realising what the words were. When he read them properly his heart dropped.

_Group Projects_

"No. No no no no no no." Richie muttered over and over again. Then he felt a ball of paper him hit in the head. He looked in the direction of where it had come from and saw Bill Denbrough smirking.

"Hey st-stoner, finally gone crazy ah-and started talking to y-y-yourself?" He snickered, before Mr Candor cleared his throat and Bill glared at Richie like it was his fault. Richie rolled his eyes and looked back down at his notebook in despair.

So much for his quiet year.

"Now, for the first half of the semester, you will be working in pairs and you will each get a different assignment to work on. Once the due date comes, the two of you will then present what you have done to the rest of the class together. And don't get too happy Denbrough," He smiled as he watched Bill high five Mike - Richie couldn't help but notice the slightly dejected look on Eddie's face. "I will be putting you in pairs at random."

Richie wasn't aware that his stomach could drop any further than it already had done, but the wonders of his body truly amazed him yet again. He looked around the room and tried to find someone he thought would at least be okay being paired up with.

_I suppose Ed Corcoran wouldn't be too bad._

"First pair. Mike Hanlon, and Ed Corcoran."

_Shit. Okay, uh, Betty Ribsom's nice. She let me borrow a pen once without laughing in my face._

"Betty Ribsom and Tyler Barren."

Richie felt like it was truly the worst thing that could have happened.

"Eddie Kaspbrak and Richie Tozier."

Oh. No, Mr Candor managed to top it. Richie felt his cheeks flush and he sat frozen in his seat as Eddie turned to look over his shoulder and give an awkward smile in Richie's direction, no doubt trying hard not to laugh along with his friends that were nudging him. Richie felt like an idiot. He folded his arms on the table and tucked his head down between them. Looks like that whole lesson was gonna be a write off.

He barely listened to anything Mr Candor said, only really writing down the due date of the assigment, not bothering to write down who his partner was (he definitely wasn't going to forget) and silently slipping the sheet that said what he and Eddie had to do together into his bag. Thankfully the rest of the lesson went by rather quickly and with minimul bullying, so the moment Mr Candor opened the door again, Richie was the first to run out, practically sprinting to the library with a speed that could rival even Eddie's.

Stan was already waiting for him outside when he saw Richie panting and blotchy face coming towards him.

"What the hell happened to you?" Stan pulled him close and quickly into the library. "Are you getting chased? Is it those idiot jocks?"

"No, no it's _worse_!" Richie almost wailed. The librarian shushed him but Richie took no notice. He was too busy having a crisis.

"Bowers?" Stan whispered.

"No!" Richie said again. Stan frowned.

"Then what is it?"

"I've been partnered with Eddie for a biology project that's going to last for the whole first half of the semester! What am I gonna do Stanley?!” Richie shook him by the shoulders, confused by Stan's deadpan look.

"You're gonna grow a pair, do the work so you get a good grade like you always do, and help me with my English homework. You're good with all that creative crap." Stan said, rolling his eyes and walking away from Richie, who was still looking desperate.

"You're no help to me! Bad friend!" Richie shouted, pointing at him, but following nonetheless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, our star crossed lovers shall finally soon meet  
> if richie stops running away from eddie that is  
> so like i’ve already got like four chapters lined up and i’m not gonna shoot them all out at once but i’m impatient so boom here’s one now  
> thanks for reading :))


	3. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a quick warning, there is some homophobic language and strong internalised homophobia in this chapter

Eddie was glad to finally be starting senior year. Not because he'll be one of the eldest, or because they'll _'rule the school'_ as his friends so nicely liked to put it. No, he was glad because it meant he was only a year away from being able to leave the shit-hole of a town he had to call home.

He hated Derry. Everything about it. From the dickheads he sees walking around his high school, to his overbearing mother at home. He couldn't wait for the moment that he could finally go to a college far, far away from Derry. Maybe NYU. Heck, he'd even fly all the way to UCLA. He just wanted a chance to be his own person for once. Not the person that his mother, his friends or his high school wants him to be.

Speaking of,

"Eddie!"

The moment Eddie sat down at his usual lunch table with his friends, his girlfriend Beverly practically jumped on his lap and kissed him on the cheek. But she lingered and whispered in his ear. All of his friends around him laughed and rolled their eyes when Eddie flushed a little at her words, thinking she'd said something dirty, but in reality,

"I'm going to Ben's tonight, is that okay?"

Eddie just nodded and smiled. Next to him Bill whistled and elbowed him in the ribs.

"Wh-What's going on there Bev, huh?"

"Oh wouldn't you like to know Big Bill." She said with a wink, linking arms with Eddie and putting her head on his shoulder. Eddie liked it when Beverly put her head on his shoulder. The way her fiery hair felt when it tickled his neck. And her shampoo smelled nice. It was all just very nice. It made him smile, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. But it just felt like... like something was missing.

Eddie shook his head a minuscule amount and shook that thought away. What could be missing? Beverly was a girl. He liked girls. He liked his friend. Then he frowned.

_Love. I love my girlfriend. God, Eddie you love your girlfriend, get it into your head._

He thought back to the night before, sitting in his room with Beverly in his lap, kissing her hard. Telling himself that he was enjoying himself. Telling himself that when she put his hands on her boobs he like it. Telling himself that the noises he made were because of Beverly, not because of the person he was imagining to be kissing in his mind. Someone with a firmer body and flatter chest. No, he was enjoying himself because it was Beverly on top of him, not those thoughts in his head. Those were just weird ideas conjured up by the copious amounts of alcohol he had had to drink to gather up the courage to invite Beverly round. 

The noise of his friends all laughing hysterically shook him out of his stupor and he started laughing along too, even though he had no idea what about. As he did so nervously, he started to look around the cafeteria, out of pure curiosity. Out of the corner of his eye he could see someone looking towards their table. Eddie only half recognised him, maybe from passing him in the halls. He was kind of scrawny, with a mop of black scruffy hair on his head and huge glasses that made his eyes look bigger than he assumed they actually were. The bridge of his nose and his cheeks were covered in tiny freckles and he was wearing some kind of sad, far off look that Eddie couldn't place. He was watching subtly, so as not to make eye contact with the boy, but he couldn't help but want to. Eddie was curious about him. He was just so... _cute._

"What're d-doing staring at that loser stoner oh-over there E-Ed-ddie?" Bill asked, making Eddie jump a little.

"What's his name?" Eddie asked, looking back to his friends and trying to seem as casual as possible. They all raised an eyebrow at him and he panicked. "What, is curiosity a crime now?" Mike sighed and shrugged.

"I think it's Richie or something like that. I don't really know, keeps to himself a lot."

"Buh-But when he talks he's st-stupid as f-fuck." Bill grumbled.

"He gets straight A's Bill." Beverly snorted and punched him in the arm. "You fucking wish." Bill scowled and looked down at his food, stabbing it with his fork.

"He's n-nothing buh-bt a little st-stoner fag-"

"Woah." Eddie said loudly, cutting Bill off immediately. Bill looked at him challengingly as Eddie just stared back at him with a stony face. There was no way Eddie was backing down. Not this time. "Too far Bill. Too fucking far."

Bill scoffed and looked around the table as if he was going to get any support, but Beverly wasn't even looking at him, and Mike didn't look at all impressed. 

"Oh come _on_ guys." Bill actually laughed. Eddie was in disbelief. "You can't be serious."

"Say it again Bill. I dare you. See what happens." Eddie said, slamming his hand down on the table, making his tray sake. Bill jumped a little, shocked at his sudden aggresion. 

"Eddie's right." Mike said. It didn't matter how quietly Mike spoke, his voice could always sound final and intimidating if he wanted it to. "That was too much."

"Fine." Bill spat, rolling his eyes. "But h-he's still a dumb little t-t-trashmouth shit, that _B-Buh-Bitchie._ " Eddie suddenly let out a snort, making everyone turn to him in surprise at how his mood had changed. He was red in the face and trying to hide a laugh behind his hand but you could see it in his eyes. Bill scowled. "Wh-What, do you think he's f-fu-funny?" 

"Not _him,_ it's just," Eddie looked around and let out a tiny laugh again. "Saying _Bitchie_ instead of Richie is a shit insult."

Next to him, Beverly let out a tiny giggle and tried to hide it against Eddie's neck but the deed had already been done. Mike started laughing too, making Bill turn red and grumble something else before looking down at the table, throwing Eddie a glare. Eddie bit his lip, feeling a little bad, but making Beverly laugh made him feel good. So he thought it was worth it. Especially since he made Mike laugh too. That was a bonus. He allowed himself to take a small look back at the scrawny boy - Richie. He was laughing with his friend now and while he knew he should have just taken Bill's opinion to dislike him, all he could think was,

_Wow._

Then the bell rung, the second thing to drag his gaze away from Richie, and he got up, giving Beverly a squeeze before she went to walk to her class. But before she could walk too far, he grabbed her aside and pulled her into a corner. They had no problem bumping into anyone. Everyone parted for Eddie. Especially when he was with Beverly. 

"Hey Bev? I just wanted to say thank you. You know, for helping me get used to being- or at least trying to be... you know... _normal_." Eddie whispered the last part, even though he knew no one would hear him over the shouting and laughing of everyone on the way to their classes. Beverly's smile faltered and she looked around nervously. 

"Eddie, I told you, don't thank me for that." 

"No, Beverly, I'm serious. You take time out of your day, and you even have a boyfriend of your own, yet you'll still-"

"Eds, _please,_ " Beverly looked at the ground, the usual happy gleam in her eyes completely gone. She looked devestated. "Please don't thank me."

"O-Okay." Eddie said, trying for a small smile at her. She barely returned it when she looked up again. "I guess I'll see you after class?"

"Yeah, see you."

Eddie leaned in and pressed a closed mouth kiss against her lips, his eyes squeezed shut. It was very quick, very awkward and some people might not have even called it a kiss. He was just thankful that Bill and Mike didn't see. They'd never let him hear the end of how awful that kiss was. Beverly lifted a hand and stroked his cheek after the kiss, before she walked away, her shoulders hunched over and clutching her books tightly, leaving Eddie standing alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's everyone's favourite eddie-bear, wooo  
> so, sorry to all of those bill stans out there but he's a real asshole right now  
> but i hope you liked this bad boy anyway  
> thanks for reading :)


	4. three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just as a warning, there is some homophobic language in this chapter

Richie finally tore his face away from his physics textbook, just before five o'clock, only a few minutes before the library was due to close. Stan had already left; his dad needed him to help out at home so as soon as they'd finished with his English homework, he'd left Richie alone with his own homework, and thoughts about what to do with his new biology partnership with Eddier Kaspbrak. It had definitely been hard to focus on any of his other work when all he could think about was how much time he was going to have to spend with Eddie. Just the two of them. Maybe at his house, maybe at Eddie's. Oh God to have Eddie Kaspbrak in his bedroom. Richie had thought about it for years but now that the possibility of it actually happening had arrised, he was terrified. 

Of course, all of it would be professional though. Just the biology work. He doutbed that the two of them would do any of the things that Richie would daydream about them doing together. Especially since Eddie had a girlfriend that he seemed to love very much. 

Richie groaned. He shouldn't be thinking of Eddie that way in the first place anyway. As if after this assignment Eddie would bat an eyelid at him ever again. It'd probably be back to him not even knowing his name, and just getting bullied by his friends. Richie rubbed his eyes, suddenly realising how tired he felt, and started packing his bags, throwing his books in haphazardly. Once he'd left the library, he saw that the sun was setting, and that it would probably be dark by the time he got home. Part of him wished that his mom would be angry at him for getting home after dark, but he knew she wouldn't care. 

He was walking towards the bike racks when he heard some weird noises from the left of him. Strange sniffling sounds, like someone was trying not to cry. Richie frowned; no one was ever at school as late as he was. He and Stan were usually the last ones there, unless Stan had to help out at home, meaning it would then just be Richie by himself. 

Richie forgot about his bike and started following the noise. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little bit scared as to what he'd found. It could be some kind of rabid animal. But, when he eventually found the source of the noise, he saw a boy sitting up against the wall, looking like he was rubbing his hands together vigourously, and muttering to himself with an angry look on his face, but still crying. There was a bottle of anti-bacterial hand gel on the floor next to him. Richie looked on curious for a few seconds before he spoke. 

"Um, hey." He said, giving a little wave. The boy's head shot up and he scootched away a little. Richie still couldn't really see his face. "Are you okay? I could hear you crying and I just wanted to check up. Are you hurt?"

"Ri-Richie?"

Richie gasped and his hand flew to his mouth.

"Eddie?" Richie whispered, walking over to him and crouching down in front of him.

"Uh, hey man." Eddie sniffed loudly and kind of half laughed, a strange smile on his face. 

"How do you know my name?" Richie said, then mentally punched himself in the face. Stupid, stupid question. Nice one. 

"We're partners. In biology. I wanted to talk to you about it earlier, but you practically sprinted out of that classroom before I could reach you. Then you were just lost in that crowd and I wouldn't have even known the first place to try. I figured I'd just wait until the next lesson." Eddie said, all quite quickly. Richie peered down and noticed that he was still wringing his hands together very hard. Now that they were sitting closer together, he could see that they were red raw and almost peeling. 

"Oh my God Eddie look at your hands." Richie said shakily, partially in shock at the state of Eddie's hands, and still at the fact of how close he was sitting to the boy he had had a crush on for about three years. "What happened."

Eddie suddenly went still and intstead of rubbing his hands he started biting his lips. 

"I fell over." He blurted out. "And I didn't really want to faceplant the concrete, you know, so I threw out my hands to catch myself. I guess I scraped them up pretty bad."

"You shouldn't be rubbing them so much. And you shouldn't be all alone out here, it's almost dark." Richie ignored the fact that he sounded like a worried mom, and instead went to separate Eddie's hands. When he flinched away, Richie tried for a small smile. "Okay, how about..." He looked at the hand gel on the ground. "How about I help you clean them?"

Eddie sat saying nothing for a while with pursed lips. His eyes were unreadable and Richie was worried he'd crossed a line. In his sudden rush of adrenalin from being so close, he'd forgotten that Eddie was straight and had a fucking girlfriend for fucks sake. But then, Eddie looked straight into his eyes, as they gleamed with the light of the orange street lamps and setting sun above them and nodded wordlessly. Richie almost stopped breathing. He picked up the bottle and started rubbing Eddie's hands gently, taking each finger separately and making sure to do it a lot slower and softer than Eddie had done to himself. They did this in silence for a while, before Eddie spoke, making Richie jump as he broke the calm they'd created around themselves. 

"How have I never seen you around before?"

Richie laughed to himself breathily. 

"Well, I won't lie to you, you should have done. I've been in pretty much all of your classes since freshman year." Richie smiled but kept his gaze on Eddie's hands as he heard Eddie suck in a sharp breath. 

"God, I'm sorry. That must make me sound like such a-"

"A prick?" Richie suddenly looked up at hime with a teasing smile. Eddie smirked and rolled his eyes, making Richie's stomach jump. "For the longest time, I kind of thought you were one. I mean, the people you hang out with are the biggest pricks I've ever met. But, I don't really think that anymore. I haven't for a while to be honest."

"What made you change your mind?" Eddie asked. Richie felt his cheeks blush and turned his attention back to Eddie's hands, avoiding the question. 

"These should be better than they were know." Richie anounced, clearing his throat and standing up. He tried to ignore the fact that Eddie was still smirking at him, making Richie's mind wander to some very unpure places. "Maybe run them under some fresh water when you get home? I don't know, I'm not exactly a medical professional."

Eddie laughed and stood up with Richie, taking his gel from Richie and swinging his backpack over his shoulder. 

"Well, you may not be a doctor, but you were definitely great at helping tonight." Eddie said, smiling brightly. Richie nodded at him awkwardly, not really knowing how to say goodbye, so just started to walk away. But before he could go too far, Eddie grabbed his bag strap and yanked him back. Richie turned and definitely didn't expect to see a conerned look. "Hey, um, do you really think my friends are pricks?"

"I hate to break it to you Eds, but they certainly are to me." Richie tried for a joking tone but he wasn't sure it worked very well. "You walked around with them everyday, haven't you heard it all?" Eddie looked at him cluelessly and Richie frowned in confusion. "Well, to give you a quick highlight reel, my favourite insults that get thrown on the regular at four-eyes - which is just juvenile to be honest - stoner, and the million dollar baby, faggot."

Eddie glared at the ground at the last word and Richie was taken aback. He never could have imagined such an angry look appearing on such a soft face like Eddie's.

"Well, Bill won't be calling you that last one anymore, believe me." Eddie muttered, clenching his fists. Richie raised a questioning eyebrow for Eddie to explain. "At lunch today we were all talking about- someone," Richie knew that Eddie was trying to spare his feelings, and it was sweet, but it wasn't hard to guess that they were talking about him. "And Bill said that word, and I told him what I thought about that."

"It's a nice thought that he'll stop for good Eddie, and maybe he will if you're around but I don't know." Richie said with a nervous smile, rubbing the back of his neck. Eddie grabbed Richie's wrists and pulled them forward. Richie could feel how rough Eddie's skin still was from the injury. 

"If he calls you that again, you tell me." Eddie said, in a serious and steady voice. "Promise me." Richie nodded, starstruck purely by Eddie's gaze on him. 

"I swear." Richie whispered. Eddie smiled and let Richie's wrists go. 

"Good." Eddie said. He breathed deeply and looked around. "Now, my mom's gonna kill me if I don't get home soon, it's almost dark. Thank you for today Richie." He went to leave, but before he did, he pulled a pen and paper from his bag and wrote a number. "Ring me later and we can arrange when we can work on the assignment, okay?"

Richie nodded silently. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to speak again. Eddie smiled, as if he knew what Richie was thinking, then he was walking away, waving behind him, and Richie was sliding down the wall, clutching a piece of paper to his chest like a thirteen year old. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they've met for reals now wooo  
> but it's lowkey sad aw  
> i hope you enjoyed flustered richie not knowing what to do around his crush so he starts washing his hands for him instead :))


	5. four

Just as Eddie thought, his mom was pissed when he got home after dark. She had shouted at him for what felt like forever, ranting about how dangerous it was for him to be walking by himself out there, how he could have been hurt or kidnapped or something else completely unrealistic like that. Luckily, he managed to hide his hands from her, so she didn't have a heart attack at the sight of how red they still looked; thank God Richie had come along though. They would have been so much worse without his help.

_Richie Tozier._

The name spun through Eddie's head as he collapsed down onto his bed after shutting his door and locking it, definitely finished with anything his mom had to say to him. Eddie looked to his left at the phone that lay on his bedside table, and a part of his brain started to desperately pray for it to start ringing and have Richie on the other end, even though he realistically knew that Richie might not even be home yet. Not to mention, he thought Eddie was a prick. Maybe. Richie said he didn't think it anymore, but when Eddie asked why he completely ignored the question. What if Richie hated him and all of the help was just pity?

The thought of Richie hating him made Eddie feel upset in a way that he hadn't with any friend in a while, expcet for maybe Beverly. He couldn't get the thought of that boy out of his head and as Eddie's eyes fluttered shut, a smile slowly appeared on his face. He imagined how much spend they'd be spending with each other, and whether Richie was thinking about the same thing. Whether him running out of the classroom the other day was a good thing or a bad thing. Eddie hoped it was good thing, even though he was struggling to see the positivity in someone running away from you.

His thoughts started to wander further and further down a rabbit hole, until he was imagining the two of them spending time together outside of assignment practise, in Eddie's room together, lying on his bed next to each other, Richie holding his hands tenderly like he had done ealier and laughing with him. Eddie's eyes suddenly shot open when he realised that that thinking about himself in that situation was the happiest he had ever felt, and he sat up fast. His chest was heaving and is heart was beating faster than he had ever felt it beat before. He scrambled around in his bedside draw with shaking hands for his inhaler and took two big puffs, trying to slow his breathing. He tried to think about anything else. Someone else.

_Beverly._

Eddie shut his eyes and thought back to the first time he asked Beverly to help him. They'd been dating for two years and people were surprised that they were lasting as long as they were. But they only managing to stay together because... well they weren't even dating. Beverly had her own boyfriend, Ben Hanscom who was homeschooled, and Eddie was alone, just thankful for the fact that his best friend was kind enough to be doing what she was doing.

The two of them had been best friends since they were kids, and Beverly had always been there to protect Eddie when he needed it. But when they got to high school, a cruel place with more people, more bullies, too many bullies, Beverly couldn't protect him as well anymore. The onslaught of abuse that got thrown at Eddie when he was just walking down the hall was too much for him in only the first week. The way he dressed and acted made him look like a faggot apparently, which wasn't helped by the fact that he didn't have any male friends, and only spent time with Beverly. By the end of their first week at the high school, he was considering transfering, when Beverly came to him with a proposition.

By the next day, they were 'dating' and the bullying - while it took a while for everyone to notice - stopped. In gym, Eddie found out that he was very fast and after joining the track team he started to get pulled in by the jocks, but in a good way this time. He started dressing differently, ditching his little shorts, polos and graphic t-shirts for jeans and his new letterman jacket. Bill Denbrough and Mike Hanlon came along to be his new friends. Eddie finally felt like maybe he could be happy.

Then one day in junior year in the locker room when everyone was gettinng changed for gym, Eddie's eyes just happened to wander over to Bill's chest by their own accord. And suddenly his whole face turned red as he noticed how attractive Bill was. His mouth went dry and without any control, his mind threw images of him kissing Bill into his mind. Eddie shook his head, trying not to look crazy, but willing for them to go away with everything he had. He looked around the locker room at all of his friend shirtless around him and he felt like his lungs were being tightened by a belt. That day he saw a bright side of having such a crazy, over-caring mother, when he was able to go to the nurse, say he had an asthma attack and he was immediately able to go home.

As soon as the school day was over, he called Beverly and invited her over. And when she walked into his bedroom, he ran up to her and smashed their lips together. She, of course, stumbled back and pushed Eddie away with a shocked looked.

"What are you doing?" She had asked, trying not to be too loud because she knew it would have alerted his mother.

"Help me." Eddie pleaded. "Help me be normal." He surged forward again to kiss her but Beverly put her hands on his chest. She looked concerned.

"What are you talking about?"

"I thought about-" Eddie shook his head wildly. "I had disgusting thoughts in the locker room today. Thoughts about people that I'm not allowed to have. I know you're not really my girlfriend or anything like that but... please you have to help me Bev." He didn't realise it but tears were streaming down his face. " _Please._ "

Beverly bit her lip and Eddie remembered how she looked like she was having a mental battle with herself. He feels bad about the he'd asked her to do it now, but he was just glad that she'd eventually said,

"Lie down on the bed."

Eddie had done as she'd asked and was barely breathing as she climbed on top of him and stared down at him, his bedroom light causing a glow to surround her. But it wasn't a romantic moment. She wasn't smiling. Neither of them were. They never did, and still didn't.

"Are you sure about this Eds?" Beverly had whispered so softly that Eddie almost didn't hear it.

Eddie wasn't sure. He wasn't sure about anything anymore. But he nodded anyway. And as Beverly kissed him deeply, and he kissed back, he tried to push back the feeling of the tears that were still falling down his cheeks.

The sound of a ringing phone made him jump out of the memory and gasp, wiping away tears that he unconsciously knew had spilled over. They always did when he thought back to that moment. He cleared his throat and hoped that when he spoke on the phone it didn't sound like he'd just been crying.

"Kaspbrak residence." Eddie said trying to keep his voice steady.

_"Eddie?"_

A small voice came through the speaker and a smile appeared on Eddie's face as a warm feeling spread through his body, making his feel instantly better. He wrapped one arm around himself and took a deep breath in before answering.

"Yeah, hey Richie. How're you doing?"

_"Pretty good. Was your mom mad when you got back after dark? Sorry if I cleaned your hands too slowly and I got you into trouble."_

Eddie could hear the nerves in Richie's voice almost wanted to giggle like a little teenager until he got a hold on himself.

"No, no, it's okay. Well, I mean, my mom was mad at me, but you washing my hands was great. You don't need to worry about it. If anything it was my fault. I'm the idiot who fell over." Eddie laughed and was delighted to hear Richie's laugh on the other end of line. "What about your parents? Were they mad?"

 _"No."_ Richie muttered. _"No, they didn't mind much, um, they don't really care how late I stay out."_

"Wow, I wish I had parents like that." Eddie sighed, leaning back on his pillows. He wondered where Richie was in his house, then frowned and shook that thought away.

 _"Yeah, I guess it's pretty great."_ Richie said, an awkward silence following. _"So, um, I was thinking that maybe we could start working on out assignment tomorrow after school in the library. I know we've got like two months to do it but I think it'll be best if we get started as soon as possible, because then we might be able to finish it earlier, and you know, get a better grade and stuff."_

"Yeah, I think that's a great idea." Eddie was kind of bummed to remember that this call was to sort out when they were going to work on their biology, and not a social call. But he supposed school work was more important. "I agree with the whole starting early thing. I need good grades for the college I want to get into so I want to put as much effort into this as I can."

 _"G-Great."_ Richie stuttered. Eddie could hear his smile. _"That's awesome. So, I'll see you tomorrow at the library, yeah?"_

"Yeah. Bye Rich."

_"Bye Eddie."_

The line when dead and Eddie put the phone back down on his bedside table, wrapping his arms around himself again. And this time, when he imagined that it was Richie's arms squeezing him tight, he didn't try and think of Beverly to distract him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so our darlings have had a phone call and are actually going to do some work but eddie's feeling those sad feels :(  
> this is set in 1994 if anyone was wondering (when they'd be 17/18 in 2017 movieverse) and you know that eddie would be boujee enough to have a [motorolla international 3200](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/836332593288394528/)  
> i hope you enjoyed this chapter, thanks for reading :))  
> 


	6. five

Richie kept the phone to his ear as the phone gave a long, loud beep and he took a shuddering breath. Almost as soon as Eddie had put the phone down, Richie's mother had called that it was time for dinner, and he knew that tonight it was Tuesday night. Family night (as if they were much of a family anymore). Meaning that his parents definitely wouldn't tolerate him staying in his room to eat dinner, which they usually hated anyway (God knows why, they didn't say a fucking word to him at the table anyway). Richie waited, clutching the phone for another moment longer, until he got a louder shout from his father this time, making him jump. He scowled and slammed the receiver down, hopping off of the plush seat and reluctantly making his way to the dining room. 

When he got there, his parents were already sat down, their hands crossed, ready to say grace, and looking up and him. Richie sat down between them, crossing his hands also and shutting his eyes. 

"Thank you Lord, for this wonderful meal." He heard his father say. Richie rolled his eyes behind his eyelids and waited for his mother to say they could start eating. Finally, when she did, he started wolfing down his food, and ignored the sighs of disgust that came from both of them. 

Then silence fell over the table, just like it always did. The only sound in the room was the noise of their cutlery scraping uncomfortably against their plates, making Richie cringe every time it squeaked. Richie looked up at them and both of his parents were just focused solely on staring down at their plates of food - the mushy looking lasange that had been slopped in front of him. Richie pushed it around and sighed, putting a forkful in his mouth. He knew that if he didnt eat it his father would shout at him, so he ate it despite the taste. His mother definitely couldn't cook Italian food. 

"So, um, how was your day mom?" Richie asked quietly. 

"It was good dear." She said absentmindedly, not even looking up at him. Richie turned to his father instead. 

"Dad? Any crazy patients at the dentists? Had to scrub any fangs?" His lifted up his hands to pretend to have a cape and do a dracula impression, but he got interrupted by,

"Just a normal day, as usual." His father then pulled out the newspaper that he somehow always had on hand and started reading it. 

Richie's mouth fell into a straight line and started shovelling food into his mouth again. 

"So I killed someone I school today." Richie said through a mouthful of food with a shrug. "Just stabbed him and threw him in a spare empty classroom. Hope no one finds out, you know."

His mother only hummed in response to his words. Richie frowned and his grip tightened around his cutlery tightened.

"Then I fucked a guy in the supply closet." Richie's lips twitched in a smile involuntarily, knowing that the mention of him and a boy would bother his parents immensly. 

"Language, Richard." 

Richie narrowed his eyes, partly at being called his full name, but mostly that the only thing they took away from him saying he had sex with someone at school was that he swore while describing it.

"PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" Richie stood up, slamming his hands on the table, yelling out. His father finally turned his attention to his son, but he was glaring. 

"Go to your room this instant Richard. I am tired of your awful, disruptive behaviour. You come home late, smelling of alcohol and cigarettes and drugs, and it's disgusting. You're upsetting you're mother and you're disappointing me." His father said every word deadly quiet, staring Richie right in the eyes the whole time. 

"You are the worst person ever. I hate you." Richie put his middle finger right close to his fathers face, and then spun in round to his mother. "Both of you. I can't wait to fucking leave this house." Then he stormed to his room and slammed the door behind him, collapsing onto his bed and screaming into his pillow, not caring if his parents could hear him. He wanted his parents to hear him. Maybe they would understand how shitty parents they were. 

He didn't remember the exact moment that his mother and father stopped caring about him, but he knew it happened around the time they realised that he would be able to look after himself. They doted on him when he was a child constantly to all of their friends, it was all _'Richie did this today, Richie can already say the alphabet, Richie has straight As and he's so young, can you believe it?'_ They seemed so proud of him and Richie couldn't help but revel in all of the attention. But then around 7th or 8th grade, when Richie became a teenager and started doing stuff by himself, the attention started to go away. They didn't talk about him as much and they certainly didn't talk to him as much, almost as if they felt that if he didn't need to be always watched over anymore, why should they make the effort of being near him. The last straw was definitely when they found out he was gay. It wasn't like he didn't try to hide the magazines. How was he supposed to know that his mother cleaned under his bed when she vaccumed his room? 

His parents didn't do anything like hit him or scream at him or kick him out or anything like that when they found out he was gay. They just kind of started ignoring him point blank. Not really caring about him, or talking to him. Brief words at dinner on their family nights, answering his questions, but with the most simplest of answers. Richie didn't mind most of the time, it just meant he could spend more time with Stan, or doing whatever he wanted, in the house and out of the house. But it wasn't like Richie didn't miss them. Of course he did. Would it be nice to be asked _'How was your day Rich?'_ when he walked through the door every now and then? Yeah, it would. And would a hug from his mom when he was feeling at his worst feel nice. Absolutely. But he'd learned to live without that for years and he was used to it by now. He and his parents both came to the mutual agreement that he was a 'lost cause' to them when he started going out to parties, and smoking (not just cigarettes) and came home smelling of drugs and alcohol. No matter how many shining report cards he came home with in his hands, it was never enough to cover up everything else wrong with him in his parents eyes. 

Richie sighed, staring at his closed door for a second, thinking about his family on the other side, before he stood up and opened his window, leaning out and staring up at the stars and the moon. If he looked long enough, he could pretend that he was somewhere else; no matter where he was, he would always be staring at the same stars and moon, so if he thought hard enough, he could be leaning out of a window in L.A. His eyes fluttered shut. Maybe he had finally become the performer he'd always wanted to be, maybe he'd just come back from an award show, where he'd won, and he was at home celebrating with the person he loved the most. Maybe that person would come up from behind him and wrap their arms around his waist and lift him up, kissing his face and his neck all over, making Richie laugh until he couldn't laugh anymore. They'd whisper soft words in his ear that would send shivers down Richie's spine. 

_"Congratulations, baby. I love you so much."_

_"I love you too Eddie."_

Richie's eyes snapped open and he stepped away from the window, letting go of it and sitting back down on his bed. He picked up a mixtape from his bedside table and put it in the stereo on the floor next to his bed, turning up the volume as loud as it could go, again, not caring about his parents. He layed down slowly, letting the tears stream down his face as the music played on and on, song after song. 

The music was so loud that he barely heard the soft knock on his door. Richie looked up but didn't say anything. The door opened anyway. His mother's head poked round. Richie turned down the music a little and sat up, crossing his arms. 

"Hello mother." Richie said in a stale tone. 

She pulled a plate out from behind her and smiled a little. 

"You didn't get to finish you're dinner." She muttered. "I know that it's not the nicest tasting dish, but I also know that you don't eat lunch, and you are my son. I don't want you to go hungry." She put the plate down on the mattress gently and Richie stared at it in shock. 

"I thought I was a disappointment."

"Did I say that?"

Richie opened his mouth to say something but them it closed again. No. His mother never said anything. 

"No, you didn't." Richie said, nodding a little. "That's fair." His mother was about to smile, but she stopped when Richie held up a hand. "But you also never say anything to defend me. Or go against what he says to me. You never do, and I get an itching feeling that you never fucking will."

His mother fell silent. She nodded too. 

"I love you Richie. Okay?"

"Sure." Richie lied down again, turning the music up louder again until he was sure he wouldn't be able to hear anything she would say to him. "See you later I guess."

His mother left promptly, clearly sensing that she wasn't wanted, and shut the door softly behind her. Richie sighed and rolled over, wrapping his arms around himself. If no one else was going to hug him he might as well do it himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now that was just pure angst there i'm sorry  
> poor richie is not having a good time at home :(  
> i'm 100% for maggie and wentworth being amazing parents so i'm not loving writing them like this but it's all for the plot smh @ me  
> don't worry though, things will get better for our boy soon enough  
> i hope you enjoyed this chapter (even thought it was kinda sad) and thank you for reading!


	7. six

Walking into the cafeteria was definitely kind of terrifying the next day. Eddie knew he was bound to see Richie, how couldn't he, it was lunch time. And after the night before he didn't trust his own face to not light up firetruck red if they made eye contact at all. He didn't want any of his friends to know what had happened, or what he had been thinking about. They could never know, he didn't even really like the fact that Beverly knew, and she was his best friend. So almost the whole time he stayed looked down at his tray of food, not wanting to risk seeing Richie and seeing that smile. It made him feel awful, he did want to be friends. But he didn't know how to do that without makig his friends hate him. 

"Hey Eddie, are you okay?" Beverly said, touching his shoulder gently, having to duck down to actually make eye contact with him. The contact made Eddie jump a little. "You've been having a staring contest with your meatloaf for ages now. Are you winning?"

"Oh, uh, yeah I'm okay." Eddie made the mistake of looking away from his food and... there he was. Sitting in the same spot as yesterday. Opposite his friend, laughing away with his gorgeous smile. Eddie was really screwed. He got up so suddenly that the table shook and everyone looked at him. His cheeks turned just the shade that he anticipated and he could feel every pair of eyes on him. "I've- I've got to go." He grabbed his bags and started running away, ignoring their shouts. 

"Eddie wait!" Beverly insisted. She was running after him, but Eddie didn't mind that too much. It was any of the others that would have bothered him. Eddie turned, expecting some kind of interrogation, but instead she just said, "Can I talk to you for a second?" Eddie looked at her for a moment, before nodding, taking her hand and walking towards the exit together.

"Woohoo! Going to get some?" Bill shouted, laughing loudly, even from as far as he was. Eddie hated that the whole fucking school just heard Bill shout that. He heard some people snigger and he shrunk into himself a little. 

Eddie was starting to understand what Richie had said to him last night. 

"Bill, for once in your life could you _shut the fuck up_!" Beverly whirled round and shouted. The cafeteria quietened a little and Eddie stared at her, shocked to his core. Bill was gaping at her and the other students were looking around to see what his reaction would be.

But he said nothing. He just gave her one last long look and then turned slowly, beginning to eat again, looking thoroughly embarrassed. Beverly huffed loudly and started pulling Eddie away instead. He could hear the cafeteria increasing in volume again as they left.

"So, uh, what's up?" Eddie said, leaning against a pole as they stood in the empty parking lot together. Beverly looked nervous and like she didn't want to start talking at all. Eddie raised an eyebrow. "Bev?"

"I can't do this anymore." She blurted out. "Us, I mean. All the stuff we do together. The making out and the other stuff, and I don't want to anymore."

Eddie felt himself go pale. He didn't understand. Why would Beverly want to stop? Was it him? Was he doing something wrong? Was he not being good enough for her?

"I don't understand." He said quietly. "But we were doing so well. I feel like I was actually becoming-"

"God Eddie, I wish you would stop saying shit like that." Beverly rubbed her hands down her face and let out a humourless laugh. Eddie looked at her helplessly. "Look Eddie, I mean this in the nicest way possible but, it's not me, it's you."

"Oh that cliche thing-" Eddie pause. "Wait isn't it supposed to be the other way around?"

"I don't want to have to say it because I know it'll make you upset and I don't want to make you upset so please just get there by yourself." Beverly practically begged. When Eddie just shrugged and didn't say anything, trying to look clueless but feeling like his lungs were about to explode, she sighed. "Come on Eddie. You're _gay_."

Eddie stiffened and looked around quickly, making sure they were really alone, and that no one was around to hear her say that.

"No, I'm- Bev I'm-" Eddie flailed with his words desperately. He had no idea what to say. Beverly had never confronted him like this. "Is this about your relationship with Ben?"

"No, Eddie. This is about my relationship with _you_. You're my best friend, and I don't want to be one of the reasons why you're pushing down a part of yourself. A beautiful, _beautiful_ part of yourself." Beverly took his shoulders and tried to look in his eyes but he was avoiding her. He scoffed when she called him beautiful.

He couldn't believe it. When he first came to Beverly with the idea, while she looked a bit reluctant, she was still quickly willing to help out her friend. All he wanted was to be like everyone else. He just needed a girl to straighten him out and be normal like everyone else. Why couldn't Beverly be a good friend and do that for him? He didn't understand.

"You can't do this Beverly, I- I need this, I need you, you don't understand!" Eddie clutched the hands that were on his shoulders tightly, but Beverly just pulled away, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry Eddie. I just can't anymore. I don't want to be hurting you like this. You might not think you are right now, but I know you're in pain. I can see it."

Eddie's throat felt like it was closing up and his mind was all over the place. He couldn't focus. He thought about Richie. About how what he had imagined them doing together last night, and how painful it had been to try and forget about it despite how happy it had made him feel. When a tiny part of his brain started to think straight again, he could see that Beverly was walking away from him. He shook his head rapidly. 

"Beverly! Wait!" He sprinted after her. "Fine. No behind the scenes stuff. You don't even have to see me outside of school if you don't want to. But please, you can't tell anyone, or let anyone get the idea that we've broken up. You remember what people used to say about me before we got together. The names they used to call me. That can't happen again. My mom... If she hears any of it then I don't know what she'll do to me."

Beverly bit her lip nervously and opened and shut her mouth a couple of times like she didn't know what to say. But she could see the desperation and fear in Eddie's eyes and she did remember what people did to him before they got together. The bullying, abuse, name calling. She didn't want that to happen to him again either.

"Okay. But no kissing or anything like that. Okay?" Beverly said.

Eddie couldn't stop a sob that he didn't know he was holding in from coming out and he fell into Beverly's already open arms and clung onto her tightly, praying that no passing cars or students walking out would see. 

*******

By the end of the day, Eddie was emotionally and physically exhausted. He had just come out of track practise and the weight of everything Beverly had said to him was still crushing his shoulders. But he still had to stay an extra hour and a half at school, for a stupid biology assignment. It would suck like hell, if it wasn't for the fact that he would be doing it with Richie. He could finally have the oppurtunity to bond with Richie properly - and do work too of course. Yeah, that was obviously the priority for Eddie. 

_Shit. He better not get distracted._

The library looked different to when he last went to it, considering he hadn't gone since around mid-sophmore year, which was when he got accepted into the track team. That was also around the time that he found out from his friends that going to the library wasn't really that cool, and he didn't need to do it to get good grades according to Bill (in hindsight maybe he shouldn't have trusted Bill considering _he_ doesn't have the most amazing grades). Eddie had been told to wait by the library doors for Richie at the end of the day, and get there quick, so they could get as much done as possible. But Eddie waited at those doors for just over half an hour and he was starting to get a strange mix of impatient and kind of worried. 

He decided that maybe he had gotten it wrong and they were supposed to meet somewere else. So Eddie left his post and went back into school and started looking around in all of the classrooms. Forgetting to work on an assingment just didn't seem very _Richie_. Especially after everything he'd said on the phone the night before. And maybe Eddie was over-reacting but... he was just mildly concerned, okay? Eventually he got to the cafeteria, and when he walked in, he found one, dirty blonde, curly haired boy sitting at one table, working over a book. Eddie recognised him as the boy that Richie had sat with the past couple of days at lunch. 

"Uh, St-Stan?" Eddie tried, praying that was the right name; Richie had only mentioned his frien briefly while he called Eddie a prick. The guy turned around and Eddie sighed in relief. "Oh thank God." He rushed forward and stood in front of Stan, giving a nervous little smile. "Hi."

"Eddie Kaspbrak?" Stan said slowy, eyeing him up and down with a strange look. Eddie had never been scanned like this before and it felt kind of weird.

"Yeah. You're Richie's friend right?"

"Oh yeah. You go paired with him for his biology assignment. I remember now. Yes, I am Richie's friend. His _best_ friend." He said, a little defensively, crossing his arms. "What do you want?"

"I was looking for Richie. He said that we were going to work on the assignment today in the library, but he never showed. I guess I was just worri-" Eddie stopped and turned red. He coughed awkwardly. "Um, I was just wondering whether you knew where he was. Considering you are his best friend as you say."

Stan actually let out a laugh at his words.

"The last I saw he was going in the direction of the auditiorium. But after that I have no idea. Sorry, man. I hope you find him though. He's a great project partner." Stan narrowed his eyes as soon as he finished his sentence. "That doesn't mean you can just copy him though. He works hard. Capeesh?"

"Capeesh." Eddie said quickly, holding his hands up in surrender. Before he turned to walk away and find Richie - and get away from Stan, who was kind of scary - he looked Stan up and down and said, "I like your shirt by the way."

"Th-This shirt?" Stan said in shock. His eyes were wide as if he could't believe anyone would actually like it.

"Yeah. I think the birds are cute." Eddie flashed him a grin.

"Well how 'bout that." Stan smirked a little, then held out one hand for Eddie to shake. "Thank you very much Eddie Kaspbrak."

"You're very welcome Stan..."

"Uris. Stanley Uris."

Eddie nodded and then turned around and walked off in the direction that Stan had pointed him in, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside that seemed to have made a new friend. He felt bad to admit it, but, Stan seemed much nicer than any of the friends he sat with at lunch - apart from Beverly of course. He was nice. Weird, and maybe a bit protective of Richie, but nice. Not to mention a nice taste in shirts in Eddie's opinion.

When Eddie found he had reached the auditiorium he thought that he might as well look inside. Stan had said that it was the direction Richie was going in, even though that could have led to anywhere. But it couldn't hurt to check.

He opened the door quietly, and walked inside, cringing at the taps his shoes were making echoing across the hallways that led to the audience seats. He could hear a voice coming from inside; maybe someone was rehearsing for a show, but he didn't think there were any productions happening yet. As he got closer to the end of the hallway, he worked out that the voice belonged to a male, and that it was beautiful. Eddie was transfixed, and he had to find out who it was. The thought of finding Richie for the assignment completely slipped from his mind.

Eddie peeked round the corner and looked to the stage to see a boy sitting on the edge of it, swinging his legs, looking practically distraught as his voice rang out loud and clear. His eyes were shut and his head was leant back as he belted out the notes.

_"I won't believe in heaven or hell  
No saints, no sinners, no devil as well  
No pearly gates, no thorny crown  
You're always letting us humans down  
The wars you bring, the babes you drown  
Those lost at sea and never found  
And it's the same the whole world 'round  
The hurt I see helps to compound  
The Father, Son and Holy Ghost  
Is just somebody's unholy hoax  
And if you're up there you'll perceive  
That my heart's here upon my sleeve  
If there's one thing I don't believe in  
It's you  
Dear God."_

Eddie stood there for a while, listening to him finish the song. He still couldn't see who the boy was, but he could tell that he was upset, because when he said the last two words, his voice cracked and his head fell. Beyond his control, Eddie's legs started moving and he started walking towards the boy to try and find out who he was, and maybe try and cheer him up, if anything could.

Then, suddenly, the moment Eddie was near him, the boy hopped off the stage and started running out so fast that he barrelled straight into Eddie's chest, knocking them both down onto the floor. After getting over the surprise of being pushed over, Eddie opened his eyes and,

" _Richie_?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stan’s bird shirt was one that amazingphil wore in one his videos, ‘a very sleepless night with phil’ and [here’s a picture](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/498070040024692268/)  
> i know everybody’s kind of sad right now guys but it will get better  
> not yet buuuut  
> soon though guys i promise soon  
> i hope you enjoyed this chapter :)


	8. seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there is some pretty bad homophobic bullying in this chapter so just a warning

Richie had always loved singing. No one knew. Stan had only heard him sing once, but as far as he was aware, that was just a one off occurence. And whenever Richie wanted to sing at home, he waited until his parents weren't there, and sung out as loud as he could in his bedroom. It gave him some kind of release he supposed. Sometimes talking just didn't suffice. And when he sung, he felt like people understood him, because the words he wanted to say had already been written down for him by someone else. Richie didn't have to think of anything. All he had to do was sing it. And it made him feel better. For a little while at least. 

Which was why he didn't show up for biology with Eddie. 

After a truly shitty night, he woke up wanting to go to school and have a peaceful day, at least. It didn't even have to be a good day, he just didn't want to be harrassed by any dickheads. To be left alone to spend time with Stan was all he wanted. And maybe get at least a smile from Eddie. Their time spent together outside the school was still fresh in his mind and it brought butterflies to his stomach every time he thought about it. He tried not to think about it all morning and wait until lunch when he could tell Stan and if he got some kind of blessing from God above, have Eddie come and talk to him, even with his douchebag friends watching. 

Thankfully, his morning went smoothly, nothing too bad from anyone being thrown his way, so he was able to get through it all and focus on his work easily. He thought maybe he'd be home free for the whole day, until he got to the cafeteria, which was ironic since he thought that was going to be the best part of his day. He found Stan where they usually sat, and he collapsed down onto his seat with his tray and a smile, throwing his bag on the floor. Stan looked up in surprise. He was wearing his favourite bird shirt and Richie smiled. He loved that shirt. 

"My, my, you're excited today aren't you." Stan said, straightening his clothes and putting his books to his side. "Are you going to finally eat your food today or something?"

"No, it's so much better Stanley!"

"Why do I feel like so many of our conversations have been starting with me guessing and you just saying things are so much better or worse." Stan muttered partially to himself, shaking his head. "Whatever happened to normal conversations that started with 'Hey Stan, how was your day?'"

Richie rolled his eyes. 

"Hey Stan, how was your day?" Richie took one of Stan's hands from across the table and used his other to pinch Stan's cheeks. Stan swatted him away with a laugh. 

"Fine, I get it, just tell me what the fuck happened already."

"Okay, so I left the library last night, and I heard this weird like, crying noise coming from the alley next to me, and even though it's so not me, I decided to check it out in case someone was hurt, and I found _Eddie Kaspbrak_ sitting up against the wall with these awful injured hands and at first I was like _holy shit what the fuck do I do now_ and he just looked so sad and scared so I offered to help him clean his hands because they looked so bad, so I did that and we talked a lot and he's actually like the sweetest person ever, and he said that if Bill ever called me a faggot again, then I should tell him and then he gave me his number and we talked when I got home and oh my god it was amazing." Richie rushed out his words so fast that he wasn't even sure Stan understood all of them. His best friend just sat opposite him, blinking slowly and not saying a thing. Richie bit his lip and started tapping his foot under the table nervously. "So what do you think I should do about this. Like, become closer friends with him? Try and become more?"

"More?" Stan finally said. "Rich, he has a girlfriend. He's straight."

Richie groaned and put his head in his hands. 

"Yeah... Yeah I know. I know I'm just reading too far into all of this. But it's just... I just felt something last night. Something special between the two of us, you know?" Richie mumbled into his hands. He didn't even know if Stan had heard him. 

"Well of course you felt something." Stan said. "You've been crushing on him for three years and then you got to spend intimate bonding time with him just the two of you and managed to get his number you lucky bastard. But I don't know if that's how Eddie felt about it."

Richie pulled his head away from his hands and saw that Stan was looking over to the popular table where he saw Eddie, who was looking very intently down at his lunch like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Richie frowned. Could he really not bare to risk making eye contact with him or something? 

"Hey, it's alright. You've still got me." Stan exclaimed, holding out his hands with a grin, clearly trying to make Richie feel better. He appreciated the sentiment, but he wasn't sure it was working. Stan dropped his arms and his smile. "Look Richie. I'm really sorry. I'm not saying that you and Eddie can't be good friends during all of this. I just don't want you to get your hopes up really high, and then get crushed. I care about you too much for that, okay?"

Richie was quiet for a while, before he allowed a tiny smile to creep onto his lips. 

"You gotta stop professing your love for my Stanny, that's two days in a row now. You're gonna make a man think something." Richie dropped a wink in his direction and laughed at Stan's trademark eye roll that he just knew was coming. 

"I swear Richie Tozier, you'll be the death of me." Stan shook his head and grabbed his book from beside him and opened it again. He lifted up his gaze when he heard Richie clear his throat and his face dropped at the sight of a shit-eating grin. 

"If you're truly trying to make me feel better, you will call me by my full name." Richie said in his British guy voice, nodding at Stan insistently when he groaned. 

"You're not really going to make me say that are you?" At Richie's poor attempt to hold in a laugh, he sighed and took it as a yes. "Fine. Richie 'Big Dick' Tozier, you will be the death of me."

Richie burst out into laughter and it didn't take long until Stan did as well. He was starting to feel a bit better from his downer of seeing Eddie so insistently looking away from him, when a sudden shouted sounded from the right of him. Him and most of the cafeteria looked over to see that, of course, it was Bill Denbrough being an idiot. 

"Woohoo! Going to get some?"

Richie followed his gaze to see Eddie and Beverly holding hands, mid-running out of the room together. He flinched at the sight and looked at the ground. Stan reached over the table to squeeze Richie's hand lightly. The two were about to look back to their table and get an early start on some work they needed to do for maths, when they heard, 

"Bill, for once in your life could you _shut the fuck up_!"

Everyone fell silent. No one had ever heard Beverly Marsh shout that loud. Sure, they all knew she could handle herself and had a bit of a temper; God forbid whoever laid a hand or shot a bad word at Eddie because they had no idea what was coming for them. But never had she shouted back at Bill like that before, no one did. Everyone looked around nervously; Richie didn't think anyone knew how Bill was going to react, least of all Bill himself. There was just quiet as Beverly stood, breathing heavily, her hand still holding on to Eddie's, who was bright red in the face and looked very uncomfortable. After what seemed like an eternity of the whole room staring at Bill, he bowed his head and spun back round on his seat to face his food. Beverly nodded a little to herself and then she and Eddie were gone in a flash. Slowly, the cafeteria started the get louder as people started to get over what had just happened.

"What _do_ you think they're doing?" Richie asked Stan after they'd gotten over what the hell just went down between the two that had seemed to be best friends just moments before. Stan just shrugged without a word and looked back down at his notebook, writing notes from the textbook in front of him. Richie supposed that was his friend telling him to drop it and get on with his work, so he decided maybe it was best to do just that. 

It didn't stop his mind from racing for the next to hours though. 

*******

The moment the final bell of the day rang, Richie breathed a sigh off relief. Finally, he could just go to the library and spend some time with Eddie, work on something he actually wanted to do for once. He packed up his bags quickly, trying to take mental notes on whatever the teacher was saying, which was kind of difficult when all he could think of was Eddie. 

Once he left the classroom, the halls were pretty crowded and full of people going in different directions so he didn't think much of it when he felt some resistance keeping him from getting to the library, but suddenly he was being violently yanked backwards and slammed into a wall. All of the breath was knocked out of his body and he fell down to the ground onto his hands and knees. He couldn't see who had pulled him - he was too busy trying to remember how to breathe - and he found himself getting dragged across the floor and pushed into an empty room. When he managed to scramble to his knees and sort out his glasses, he saw that he was in the boys bathroom. And standing over him with vicious smiles on their faces were Henry Bowers, Patrick Hockstetter and a little bit behind them, Bill Denbrough. 

"I was thinking it had been a while since we'd met up in the bathroom." Richie managed to get out. He knew it was dumb of him to make jokes but he couldn't help it. "What'll it be this time boys? You know I'm down for anyth-"

His words were cut of when Bill pushed in front of Bowers and threw a punch at Richie's face, right in the middle, hitting his nose. Richie stumbled back, clutching his face as he hit the wall and fell back onto the ground. He thankfully didn't hear a crack, but he knew Bill had definitely done some damage when he felt blood trickle down his face and he tasted the cold iro taste in his mouth. Damn. He really didn't expect that from Bill. Usually Bowers was the one who did all of the heavy lifting. In fact, Richie had never seen the two of them hang out before. 

Ufortunately, his profound thoughts were put on the backburner when he felt the familiar feeling of Bowers' steel-toe boots - that Richie knew he wore on purpose to make the feeling extra painful - kicking him in the side, just adding to the beautiful gallery of bruises he already had on his waist from Bowers. Richie tried not to curl up into a ball because he knew that just made them laugh and kick him harder. 

"So Bill tells us you're making lovey-dovey eyes at his table? Staring like the little faggot you are. Do you wanna fuck one of Bill's friends?" Bowers yells down at him with one final kick, making Richie cough. When Bowers didn't get an answer he elbowed Patrick, who got out a bottle of hairspray and a lighter. He flicked open the lighter and sprayed the can at it, lighting up the room with fire. 

"What the fuck?!" Richie managed to gasp out. "Jesus, fine, you know I guy needs to breathe to speak right? If you're kicking him in the lungs he can't fucking breathe!" Richie sat up against the wall looked at them. He spat out blood at their feet and smiled at them. "I have no idea what you're talking about Billy."

Bill leaned down and grabbed him by the collar and lifted him up. Richie grabbed Bill's wrist on instinct, but quickly let go at the look he got. 

"Just t-t-tell me who the fuh-f-fuck you were staring at on our t-table." Bill's eyes were narrowed. At first Richie didn't get it. Why Bill wanted to know who Richie was staring at. But then it clicked. Bill wanted to know if he himself was hanging out with someone like Richie. What if he did something to Eddie?

"I was staring at Beverly." Richie said quickly. 

Bill dropped him and Richie groaned as his ass hit the floor hard. He couldn't focus on that pain too much though, considering he was hit with more punches from Bill that knocked him right onto his back and he was lying flat on the ground with Bill looming over him. Richie, for the first time while being hit like this, was filled with fear. He'd never been towered over like this, not even by Bowers. Bill was almost pinning him down and Richie felt like he couldn't breath. 

Bill's eyes met Richie's for just a second and then Bill's fist faltered and the furious look on his face faded. Instead they just stared at each other and Bill looked at his own fist, spattered with drops of blodd, as if he couldn't believe what it was doing. He leaned back, breathing heavily and allowing Richie to catch his breath. Then, to Richie's surprise, he climbed off completely, and straightened out his clothes, still staring in shock at the spots of Richie's blood on him. His face was pale. Richie couldn't take his eyes off of him; he had no idea what Bill was going to do next. 

"Let's g-get out of here." Bill whispered. Then he pointed a shaking finger down at Richie. "Just st-sto-stop fuh-fucking staring at us, c-cruh-creep." 

Richie flinched when Bowers went to take another step towards Richie to kick him again, but Bill snapped his fingers and pointed to the door. Richie's mouth dropped a little. He couldn't believe what was happen. Bill just almost beat his face to a pulp, but now he was saving him? What the fuck was going on? Soon enough, all three of them were gone and Richie was left alone in the corner of the bathroom, shaking, with blood drying on his face. His legs were like jelly when he eventually tried to stand up, and it took him a while to even take a few steps towards the sinks and mirrors. He looked at himself and turned on the tap, getting started on cleaning himself up. 

Once all of the blood was gone, running down the drain as pink water, he was just left with swollen bruises on his face. His left eye was purple and huge, but from his experience he knew it wouldn't take long to go down, and just as he'd thought earlier, his nose wasn't broken, thank God. Bill wasn't that powerful. It was just still a bit red and you could definitely tell it had been punched. Richie sighed and looked down at the running water swirling down into the drain. He turned off the tap and lifted up his shirt, drawing in a shrap breath through clenched teeth. His waist was almost completely purple. Richie didn't want to look at it any longer, so he just dropped it straight away and picked up his bag, leaving the bathroom, not noticing the small puddle of blood left behind where he had been lying before. 

He wasn't sure where he was going. Richie knew he didn't want to go home, but he didn't know where else to go. Not to Stan. He would make a big fuss and Richie didn't want to deal with that at the moment. That's when he passed the auditorium door. He had only sung in the auditorium once before, and that was the time that Stan had walked in. Richie had told him that he was doing a music project for extra credit, and that was why he was in there, and then he hadn't gone in since. But now, when he had nowhere else to go, it seemed very appealing. 

So Richie pushed the door open slowly, and entered, limping slightly down the long corridor until he got into the main room. It was filled with seats and right at the end, a huge stage. The lights were on and Richie couldn't help but smile a little. As he made his way to the stage he started humming. The closer he got the more the humming turned into mumbling of lyrics, and by the time he was sitting on the edge of the stage, his legs swinging and tears spilling down his face despite the smile, he was belting out the lyrics as loud as he could, pouring in every ounce of hurt he had felt in the past 24 hours. 

His parents ignoring him the night before, his father calling him a disappointment and his mother not speaking up, despite saying how much she loved him. Eddie not even being able to look at him at lunch. Being beaten by Bill and Bowers just for looking at their table. The idea that if Bill finds out Richie likes Eddie, he might do something to Eddie. Everything that had built up like a huge weight on his shoulder were finally able to come out in the words he sung into that big empty room as his voice echoed around him. He'd never felt more at home than he did on that stage, singing a song that let him get out his feelings. 

When the song ended and his voice wavered to a halt, he peered down at his watch, checking the time, and seeing that it was almost five o'clock, he remembered that he should have met Eddie at the library almost an hours ago. After everything that had happened with Bowers, Patrick and Bill, he had completely forgotten. He grabbed his bag off of the floor and jumped off the stage - both actions hurting him like hell - and began to run out of the room. He was so fixated on getting to Eddie and apologising before he was gone. 

In his rush to get out, he didn't notice the boy just in front of him, and crashed right into him, knocking them both onto the ground. As they fell, Richie could have screamed out as his injuries felt like they exploded in pain, but he bit his lip hard to keep the noise in. He didn't want to embarrass himself into whoever this mystery person was. 

" _Richie_?" 

**_Fuck_. **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed this chapter :)


	9. eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is real dialogue heavy haha sorry guys

Eddie helped Richie stand up slowly and he looked at him with furrowed brows. Richie was bent over and clutching his side, clearly trying not to make any sound of pain. Eddie touched his arm but Richie flinched away. Eddie frowned even harder. 

"Richie, what's wrong? Did you hurt yourself bad on that fall? I didn't mean to make you jump or overstep or make you crash into me or- holy _shit_ Richie."

Richie had walked into the light during Eddie's ramble, probably to cut him off and probably to stop his concern. But it definitely didn't fucking work, it just increased Eddie's concern tenfold. Richie's face was covered in bruises, his nose was red and there was a line of blood trickling from it, and his lip was bleeding. There was a crack in his glasses as well but that definitely wasn't at the top of Eddie's priority list right now. 

"Oh my God Richie what the fuck happened to you?" Eddie rushed forward and took Richie's arm to walk them to the front row of seats so he could sit down and Eddie could kneel down in front of him. 

"Nothing but the usual Eds, don't worry about it." Richie tried to say with a smile but with the bruise on his cheek it looked like it hurt. 

"Richie, if this is the usual, I kind of want to start escorting you around the school. Who the fuck is doing this to you?" Eddie said quickly as he unzipped his backpack, pulling out every medical supply he had. He used to have a fanny pack, which was much more convinient, but he got rid of it when people told him it wasn't cool, or it made him look gay. "I mean, this is more than just the bullying you were telling me about. You look awful."

"You sure know how to flatter a guy Eddie Kaspbrak. Do you put those moves on Beverly?" Richie said with a wink. 

Eddie rolled his eyes, trying not to cry at the mention of Beverly, and pulled out a cotten bud, pouring some rubbing alcohol on it. 

"This is rubbing alcohol, so it's gonna sting, and taste like shit when I put it on your lip, okay? But it's gonna help the cut on your lip and the side of your nose." Eddie wasn't surprised to see Richie raise his eyebrows and touch his nose (only for a second before Eddie slapped it away). He assumed there were a lot of injuries that Richie hadn't noticed. Eddie started dabbing the cotten bud on Richie's face gently, trying not to get too much in his mouth and trying not to laugh too much at Richie's jokes that were _not_ funny.

"That alcohol's the good shit Eddie where's your source man?" Richie said, licking his lips, but cringing despite it. 

"Richie!" Eddie shouted, but still laughing a little. "I just fucking cleaned that you shit. It's rubbing alcohol, I got it from a pharmacy and you're not supposed to drink I dumbass. Just leave your lips alone and let me clean the rest of your face in peace." After giving Eddie a final sweet smile, Richie did just that. 

Eddie then moved to check the rest of his body. He ran his fingers over Richie's neck and took no notice to the way the muscles tensed, and when his hands got to the hem of his shit, Richie grabbed them and shook his head suddenly. 

"Richie, what's under your shirt?" Eddie said with narrowed eyes. Richie turned red and although Eddie suspected that any other time it would have been from something completely different, this time it was definitely because Richie was hiding something. Eddie put his hand on one of Richie's and linked their fingers softly, on instinct, like they had done just the day before, even though it felt like weeks ago. "Rich. Please show me. 

Richie shut his eyes and took a deep breath that shuddered, letting go off his shirt. Eddie lifted it up slowly and gasped. Almost the entire expanse of his waist was purple with bruises. He didn't know if Richie had been kicked or punched or pushed but he knew that he was filling up with rage. But a part of him was scared too. Because as much as he hated it, he knew why whoever had done this hurt Richie like this. 

"Who did this. I'll kill them." Eddie stood up and started walking towards the exit of the auditorium.

"Eddie wait." Richie got up too and followed him. "You can't kill him. I'm not saying that to protect him I mean you physically can't kill him. No offense or anything but he's like twice your size. I don't want to see your get hurt like me."

"At least tell me who it was Richie." Eddie said, turning round. "You ow me at least that."

"It was Henry Bowers and Patrick Hockstetter. It's always them." Richie looked like he was holding something back, but it also could have just been pain. Eddie had made him stand up pretty fast after all. "But you can't go after them, you've seen them. They'll just hurt you, and worse than this because you're defending me. I don't want that to happen to you Eddie. Please don't say anything, I've dealt with this for years, I can do a few more months."

"Years..." Eddie breathed. Richie nodded, smiling a little as though it was supposed to be a reassurance. Eddie just gave a humourless laugh, surging forward to Richie, taking his hands. "How are you not broken?"

"Who says I'm not." He said with a wink and a smirk. Eddie was about to respondd before Richie checked his watch and announced, "Holy shit it's really late. It's gonna be really dark out, we need to get home. You home specifically, so your mom isn't super pissed at you like you said she was last night."

Eddie stared at Richie for a while, before looking at his own watch and snapping back to reality. 

"Fuck you're right. And I don't have my car today. She's gonna kill me." He groaned. 

"It's fine. We'll walk together. The time will fly by." Richie said with a smile. 

"Are you sure? You're hurt. Don't you want to call your parents?" Eddie asked. 

"No." Richie said quickly. "I mean, they're at work. They can't come and pick me up. I'm fine walking. We'll be okay. Come on, we better get going, before we get caught being at school too late."

The two of them swiftly slipped out of the auditorium, then out of the school, and soon enough the were walking down the street together, illuminated only every now and then by the street lamps that were lighting as they walked along. Eddie looked across at Richie, who had been silent since Eddie had mentioned his parents. He hated walking in silence with Richie so he felt he had say something.

"That song... it was about God right?"

Richie was staring down at his scuffed sneakers as they dragged across the concrete, only making them worse. Eddie was staring at them at them as well, but only because he was bothered with how Richie was walking with them. They were getting so dirty and all Richie had to do to stop it was just to pick up his feet properly. But Eddie gritted his teeth and pushed that down. 

"Yeah." Richie said simply. "One of my favourite songs. _Dear God_ by XTC. Why do you ask?"

"It's just, judging by the lyrics I heard, it doesn't sound like you have very positive feelings about him." Eddie shrugged, trying to look casual despite their strange and controversial topic of conversation.

"Well I can't say I'm too fond of the big guy up in the sky." Richie laughed barely. Eddie tilted his head, silently asking him to continue, give a reason why he didn't like God. "I just wonder, why he decided to make me the way that I am."

"What do you mean?" Eddie asked. Richie stopped and turned so they were standing face-to-face. Eddie hoped that Richie didn't hear how his breath hitched. 

"Well, why would God make me gay, if he knew all of the shit it was going to put me through?" Richie said. "I mean, I thought he was all about everyone loving each other, but then he decides to make a whole group of people to tell everyone to hate? Just doesn't make any sense. People are saying that he's a great guy but to me, that just seems pretty cruel."

Eddie went quiet and started thinking. He had heard his mother talk about gay people so many times. She was one of the main reasons he hated... _that part_ of himself. But the things that Richie was saying were making sense. And it was going against everything he had ever heard his mother and the priest at his church ever say. 

"I suppose that's a pretty valid reason to not like him so much." Eddie mumbled. "I just... My mom took me to church every Sunday when I was a kid and I had to go to the morning groups on a Saturday. But we never talked about stuff like that, obviously. When you say it like that, it kind of puts everything into perspective."

The two walked in a thick silence for a while longer, neither sure what to say. He saw Richie open his mouth to say something, but Eddie knew that if he didn't say what was on the tip of his tongue at that moment, there was the possibility he never would. 

"You know I never really minded church. Yeah, Sunday Mass was a bit of a bust but the Saturday groups were kind of fun. We just kind of coloured in pictures of Jesus and they gave us a pretty good lunch after. But then far too quickly I got 'too old' for that, and I wasn't allowed to go anymore. It was just Mass with my mom. And I guess it was okay at first when I could just drown it out, but then I started to actually listen." Eddie talked like he didn't even realise there was anyone next to him, full stream of consciousness style. "It was then that I realised I hated the things they were saying."

"What were they saying?" Richie practically whispered, even though he had a pretty good idea of what had been said at Eddie's church.

"Well, the things I hated the most was the stuff about... gay people mainly." Eddie said quietly. He looked so sad, so self-conscious. "Saying that they were an abomination, that God wanted them de-" Eddie choked on the word. "Gone. They said that God wanted them gone. And sometimes they'd talk about black people. But that was never as bad, I mean, my mom still let's me hang out with Mike I guess. But hearing all that shit just made me feel sick, and I hated being there, hated seeing my mom happy at what the priest was saying. So I told her that every Sunday I had to have study sessions with Bill. I guess she was just glad that I was getting into my studies and trying to do well that she let the whole church thing slide, even though she was kind of upset."

"What do you do when your mom's at church." Richie blurted out, not really meaning to. Eddie looked surprised for a second before his expression softened.

"I study." He said with a wink, laughing a little when Richie turned bright red. Then he sighed and shook his head. "Oh God I can't believe I just told you all of that. You must think I'm so weird I mean, we've only basically known each other for two days."

"No, it's okay." Richie said quickly. "I don't think you're weird. I think sharing is good. No matter how much that sounds like a cringy poster you'd find in a school counsellor's office."

"Sounds like a pretty great poster to me." Eddie laughed a little behind his hand. "And I suppose I wouldn't mind going to that office, but only if you were the cousellor there."

Eddie saw that Richie was looking at him with a strange kind of awe or wonder and he realised that it made him feel warm and just... _good_ inside. No one had even paid attention to him the way Richie did, as big-headed as that sounded. Sure, one could say that his mother was overly-attententive, and Beverly had always been there for him. But the way that Richie looked at him, and the way that Eddie felt when he looked at Richie, or felt Richie's eyes on him... It was different, a kind of attention that he had always craved but thought that he would never be able to get or never get. 

"You have a beautiful voice by the way." Eddie said quickly. The blush that appeared on Richie's face from those words made butterflies in Eddie's stomach that he didn't even know were there, suddenly wake up and fly around. "I only caught the end of the song, but what I heard was pretty good."

"Th-Thanks." Richie muttered. "I don't really like to sing in front of people, it's, um- it's kind of a private thing for me." 

Eddie suddenly felt bad. He'd cleary overstepped on something that was special to Richie, that he wanted to do by himself. He looked at the floor and was about to apologise when Richie interrupted him. 

"But I suppose I wouldn't mind singing in front of you."

Eddie slowly raised his gaze to look at Richie. Richie was avoiding his eye contact, but the red blush on his cheeks had not faded one bit. In fact, it had gotten worse.

"Why me?" Eddie whispered, not even knowing if Richie could hear him. It took Richie a while to answer.

"I trust you." Richie said with a shrug. "I don't know why. But I do."

Eddie stared at Richie for a moment. It felt like that was all he'd been doing the whole walk home. It was a miracle he hadn't tripped over his own feet or walked into a lamp post. 

"I trust you too Richie."

The tension between the two of them that always seemed to form somehow was suddenly broken when there was a screech. Eddie winced and Richie looked around curiously, breaking their eye contact. 

"Was that a dying owl?"

"No. It was my mom." 

Eddie hadn't even noticed that they'd arrived outside his house, he'd been so into their conversation. But now he was home. To his mom. And their special haven was gone, and probably wouldn't be back until they were able to be alone together again. The thought made him sad as he and Richie both watched his mother squeeze through the front door and rush down the driveway.

"Eddie-bear! Oh I've been so worried, it's so late, so dark, you could have been hurt, or killed out there!" She grabbed Eddie by the face, pushing Richie away, who stumbled and almost fell back. Eddie tensed, worried about his injuries, but Richie seemed fine. 

"I wasn't alone mom. I had Richie. We walked home together." Eddie pushed his mom's hands off of his face and pointed to Richie, who waved nervously. Eddie wasn't surprised about his nerves. Even Mike cowered under Mrs. K's gaze. 

"Are you the reason my Eddie is later?" She said, getting closer to him. Richie opened and closed his mouth and couple of time before Eddie jumped in to help. 

"We're biology partners. Remember, I told you that I got paired up with someone? We were working on our assignment and then Richie got hurt, so we had to stop for me to patch him up quickly. But, silly me, I put on the wrong bandages so it took an extra long time. I was my fault mom. Don't blame Richie." Eddie said, standing in front of Richie and smiling. His mother hummed before grabbing his arm tightly and beginning to tug him towards the house. 

"I'll talk to you inside." She hissed. 

As Eddie got pulled away, he turned back to Richie, who was still standing on the sidewalk, shaking and staring at them, and made the call signal by his ear with a grin. Richie managed to match a little smile back and made a call signal too. Eddie barely had time to wave goodbye before he finally shoved inside and the front door was slammed shut behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for once i actually posted a chapter where they talked with each other and it wasn't really upsetting :)  
> also sorry there was a pretty big gap between this chapter and the last, even though i said i wouldn't do that oop  
> 


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